“Everyone has that moment. They’re eating gross oysters or putting on loafers or suddenly calling a couch a “chesterfield.” They’re meeting friends at the Minetta Tavern or whatever the upscale diner with fourteen-dollar mimosas is called where they live. Everyone will inevitably, at some point, pause and recognize that they no longer exist in their shoplifting, joyriding glory days, and that the people with whom they partook in these activities grew up to be assholes or bankers or really nice mothers.”